Day 365;

Day 1; Met you. Tall. Dark. Sweet. Gentleman. Charming, most of all.

Day 2; This is warm. Is my heart ready for you? Is my heart ready for this? My heart says yes but my mind says no.

Day 3; Laid cards on the table. Let's do this.

Days 5~; I get dizzy at how open, how fast you are to give all your heart. While I've been one foot dip in the water. I've just been trying to open myself up again. Slow down. Slow down.

Day 8; My first taste of your immaturity.

Day 10; My heart is kind of slowly getting used to endless phone calls. Good morning and good night messages. I've been so alone for so long I didn't think someone cares enough to ask how my day's been.

Day 12; I've just been realizing how not ready I am for this.

Day 14; Sorry I can't say I love you back. That's because I don't I do yet. And I'm sorry I can't give you that commitment you keep asking for. Why am I like this again?

Day 15; Goodbye.

Day 17; Hello. Let's try again? I'll be a little braver this time.

Day 20; Goodbye. It's all a whirlwind. Time was never kind.

Day 22; Hello. You're back again. What are we doing?

Day 25; Goodbye. You're quitting on me again. Nobody ever stays with me.

Day 27; Hello. You're back again. Let's try again (again)? This time will be so much difficult as you will now be in camp. No phone every day. Only 2 hrs on weekends. I just keep thinking how we're going to make it work when I'm half-hearted even. But okay, let's do this.

Day 33; 1 quick message. See you on the 23rd.

Day 35; Traveled 20km to Antipolo just to see you in your camp. It's been more than a month since I last saw you. It's all worth it. I think I can do this. We made memories enough to hold our breath again for the many days of no communication while you're in training.

Day 42; Finally talked to you again. I'm starting to hate all your training.

Day 43; All this talk about marriage is making me dizzy. How are you so quick to your heart like that?

Day 47; All plans ready to see each other again. How I miss you. This is not healthy.

Day 48; Woke up early. Packed my bags. Couldn't wait to see you. Waited 8 hours. You never came. In the car holding back the tears. You said sorry but my darling why. In the bathroom left the water running. Broke down crying. My heart in pieces. You said sorry but darling why. You said sorry but darling I stopped asking why. This was the hardest I cried for God knows when since the last.

Days 49~; You've gone on complete isolation training for 3 months with no communication outside camp. and left me shattered out here. All my days are in limbo. I guess I have to endure being broken and having all these questions.

Day 56; I'm so mad. So mad. But I miss you.

Day 68; WHY?!

Day 73; Please help me forget.

Day 75; My heart hurts. I want it to stop.

Day 89; The day I thought I could make it. I could get through this heartbreak I could forget you. I have to.


Day 120; You're finally out of the camp and all you could message me was "Hi". As if nothing happened. As if you didn't make go wait for you 8 hours. As if you didn't fucking lie. Get out of my life

Day 123; I guess my heart can't ignore you then. Here's a "Hi' back.

Day 124; Finally had the courage to ask you all my "WHY's". But how disappointing. All you said was sorry and goodbye???? Fine get out of my life.

Day 131; Lo and behold. The devil comes again. Hello, let's try again?

Days 132~; All's well and good. This is good. It's really good.

Day 135; I have no idea where you are. Or what happened.

Day 138; I see you online but you never open my messages since last year. What is happening.

Day 139; All hell broke lose. I have been ghosted yet again. Liar. Liar. Liar. Well played. I was just starting to mend all the pieces you broke, and then you went and just crushed it all again all over. I may not be as brave and as committed as you want me to, but I like to think I take care of my heart as much as I can. But I could never save it from the likes of you.

I don't want to ever hear your name again.


Day 163; The nerve to send me a long message of apologies. Honestly, I don't care anymore. I may have forgiven you in my heart but I don't want anything to do with you anymore.

I am moving on with my life and getting busy with work. This is great. I need to give myself a pat on the back from time to time. We're doing great self. Thanks for picking yourself up.

Day 164;  Was the last I've heard of you.

Day 187; Sad songs aren't that much sad anymore.

Day 190; I still occasionally would think about you but I'm doing okay now.

Day 198; It's nice to hear you're back with your ex again but honestly don't care. I've gone through so much because of you. So much. I'm not going to gamble my poor heart again. Message ignored still. No sir, thanks.

Day 234; The day I can finally say I'm genuinely okay.

Day 364; I woke up to the news like it was just a bad dream. Please, wake up.

Day 365; I stopped counting the days anymore.

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